April 10 Fire caused by 'controlled burn'

The shop was empty when the man finally came up to the desk. He'd been hanging about for over ten minutes, they'd first noticed him looking at sheet music for accordions, something about his demeanour seemed wrong, he looked like a bass player if anything.

'Hi, I'd like to buy an instrument which, when played, will make make people cry'

It was an unusual approach but Floyd though he understood and began to direct him towards the cello, loved by Bach and Saint-Saens or the viola championed by Mozart.

'No, I'm sorry, I haven't explained myself properly, I'd like an instrument that causes people actual pain, something that hits them with the force of a bull, something I can use to hurt people with'.

The look in the strangers eye underlined the words he chose, Floyd couldn't work out how best to reply but flippantly found himself saying ' If you shove a viola in someones face they're going to know about it'.

The homicidal bass player paused a second, perhaps to consider this fact, perhaps to decide how to deal with the fool he faced.

'Ok, that'll do. I'd also like an instrument that is powerful enough to start dry fibres smoldering and given the right circumstances lead to a full blown fireball'

Floyd reached for the Kazoo's on the desk in front of him, his mind frantically working out an explanation.