Postcards from Kronk - the second collection of daily stories. (2025)

Since the privatisation of the United Kingdom the number of agencies franchised by the police force has grown at an alarming rate. In rural wales, where the local officers were often slow and drove creaky cars a new breed of horseback deputies has begun to appear. The most recent renegade law protectors arrived dressed as Lone Rangers. Roy, the only one to have appeared on youtube to date, sought to reassure the public by stating he and his gang were 'on the good side, god's side' and that it would be 'business as usual' distancing himself from the rumours of lynchmobs and the panic buying of beans. Meanwhile in Cornwall a group dressed in black and white striped tops with baseball bats have already claimed Tintagel as their Castle. It'll get worse before it gets better Mr Potato.

Manizha struggled with belts, hers too tight, his too quick to come. The fire fights outside protected her son from knowing what war and loss can do to people in love. The helplessness that bound them together, closer to one another with each punch, each drop of blood. One night it will be too much, one night it will all end, but for now Manizha sleeps with one eye open and holds her husband as he cries.

There are some sights life prepares you for and then there's what crawled out of my monitor when I misspelt my email username.

Astonished passerbys stood by as members of Take That torched a funeral home late last night. According to reports the little one that used to have long hair was heard to be chanting something about Haitian curses and never being too careful, as the flames filled the night sky the foursome drank from paper bags and made silhouettes before running offf as the sirens grew closer. This morning journalists lazily interviewed a group of itinerants with issues who were only too happy to throw more mud towards the pop stars; claiming Donut, before starting the blaze, was apparently in a heated argument with someone from Big Brother whom he believed had defecated into a frisbee and thrown it at him. These and other revelations can be read on Boyzones comeback blog, Still Alive.

It was supposed to be secret. The times and places where gravity fluctuates, the fluctuations that cause ripples which lead to subtle changes of mood. It had remianed secret for over thousands of years, since before mankind. Unfortunately the great bug headed moon twins cared little for our customs and as they waited in a side room at US customs having aririved without a valid passport or ESTA Visa they leaked the details on twitter for a laugh. They come over here, eating our food, not taking our jobs but destroying our understanding of the physical world...

alright, you coming out tonight yeah see you later k Danny's there by the time we arrive, he's gutting  a swan, his latest obsession, bought himself proper knives from town specially for it. peb danny mike seen the tele ? it's a samsung 100 Hertz Plasma 56 inch I'm going to get one of those in your dreams sshh, get down We've the place to ourselves, Mikes swaps the big binoculars for the telescope whilst I light the disposable barbeque. Going match tomorow? nah going alices party? nah, whos going ? dunno I might go then, but I'll tell mum and dad I'm staying at yours right? k, but what if they call ? They won't, I'll text them, say your mums being mardy and sent us to bed early and I cant talk ok The meats not cooked, we all try a bit but spit it back into the fire. This time next year and Danny will be at University, I take the small binoculars and stand. whats he doing now cant see shes been out back gett...

Sunlight strobes through the trees as we make our way through the forest. Good english trees, oaks and beeches, strong and ever present. I used to count the trees each time we made this journey, never got the same figure twice, didn't matter, trees are planted and fall all the time. The cold air forcing salty tears as I stare out into the distance, wishing to be going anywhere else. Wishing seems to bring me no luck these days. Mum's in the passenger seat, talking to my dad, I tune out their voices. It'll be another hour till we get to Leo's and then I'll be placed in the snooker room they've built in the attic, I've brought a book, never been invited to play and my grandparents would offer if they wished me to. Wonder how long it'll be this time. The air cools as the sun sets. Dad's turned the radio on. I would give everything I own, give up my life, my heart, my own.