April 3 Milk fears shut China's dairies

Xin Wei in court for his divorce proceedings was the first to blame milk for his unfaithfulness, the perverse logic of increasing his energy and libido past levels one woman could contain made the local press. Within a week Xin became a figure of fun across Jilin City.

When a second man claimed that he too had been forced into the arms of another by excessive milk intake appeared, this was reported with great scepticism but after the regional television station ran the story and received over 4 thousand texts from other men and women in two hours questions began to be asked.

All dairies in Northeast China were closed whilst samples were tested before the Authorities stated there was 'no foreign bodies' in the milk. With this assurance the dairies were reopened and demand has rocketed. Three months on milk sales are up by 36% and still rising.

Xin Wei himself has denied any involvement in the Dairy business and is currently working his way through a list of marriage applications.

April 2 US jets grounded after hole scare

Oh boy, the cigarette marks left on the maps certainly changed both geographical and aeronautical history. Philip manged to fly his harrier through the gaps between bakerloo and the feature on gypsy marriages, good on him.