My father told me stories, so magical they wrapped round my shoulders and kept me warm on nights alone, watching an old episode of Star Trek, waiting for him to get home. He told me once that he would be away for a few days, he needed to visit Russia and capture a rogue bear that was killing members of the Royal Family. I think he was testing my knowledge, if I had told him Russia no longer had a royal family he may well have congratulated me on passing the test. But then I'd never have heard his stories, so I remained silent. He told me another tale, they'd caught the man in the sun, the nemesis of the man in the moon and for reasons explained in earlier stories one of the most fearsome boogy men in the world. They'd caught him using fake credit cards, father had said and he was locked up in the cells waiting to make a confession. That was what he was going to do that night, get the sun man to confess. I watched an episode of Wogan and then a Hammer House of Horror film - the one where pipes bled blood before falling asleep. That was the last time I saw my dad, as he smiled and told me to watch the news later, standing their in his uniform, all shiny and gigantic.
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A bizzarro alternative take on current affairs.
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