August 16 Second leak found in North Sea

Andy always gets me into trouble and annoying has a knack of emerging good natured and easily led whilst I am invariably cast as Fagins evil uncle. Even when he was naked and tried to open up Marks and Spencers by driving a lawnmower through their window I was blamed for lending him my stetson, that's the way it is, really I need to keep out of his way. There's a lot of mileage between what's we should and what we do do though so it is no surprise I am paddling a stolen fishing boat from Filey Pier.

" Do you want some of this ? " Andy stands like he is trying to stop diarrhea escaping his trouser leg in what I recognise as his Bruce Lee impression. The threat is directed towards the sammarcos, a type of swimming sasquatch Andy has become fixated on. It had been on the news recently about a second leak, water coming out a statue of Ronald Macdonald in Hull, pouring from his eyes has been tested and confirmed to be from the North Sea.  The North Sea for any of you that haven't sailed into it late at night in a stolen fishing boat is both very dark and very cold, not the place you need to go ever.

The sammarco, Andy exolains, is a type of under water termite that burrows itself into the river or sea bed and once its numbers reach a critical mass its only a matter of time until the water runs dry. If Andy is right we have only tonight to save the North Sea, if he is wrong, well, I guess I'll end up in prison again.

" You won't be so hungry when I drop this on ya " I can't look up, just pray to God he is still clothed.