July 16 Jennifer Lopez announces divorce

Throughout his married life Edward Millard had devoted his working day to the riddle of the spiders cough, which he firmly believed would mutate and wipe out humanity. Unsurprisingly every paper he submitted on the matter was ridiculed by the scientific community. This would be his last role of the dice. At exactly 18.00 EDT in Montreal Canada, Jennifer Lopez would announce to the assembled audience of United Nations he was to begin divorce proceedings against his wife of 19 years, Louise unless they took his recommendations seriously. The delegates would look to one another and with a growing collective memory realise the significance of his sacrifice. Louise who had been to every conference and delegation in the last 15 years, by his side, Louise his soul mate.

If that didn't wake the world from it's slumber nothing would.