Postcards from Kronk - the second collection of daily stories. (2025)

Oliver held aloft the pigtails, next to him Steven carried the diary whilst Dominic clasped his hands tightly together in front of him, like he'd caught a grasshopper or butterfly. " What's that you got ? " Dominic raises his finger to his lips and smiles. " Ok, put them in the box and leave ", Isaac dismisses them, I leave shortly after without staying to inspect the haul, I want their souls, or a finger or something big, something worth clasping tight, Dominic may be the youngest but as the only one not in full time employment, he could make more of an effort. My money's on more finger nails.

In the summer of 2009 you couldn't open a paper in Glasgow without reading of the argument between Bernard 'Banjo' Bolland and Tommy West. Blowup Banjo and WST1, the two greatest Scottish musicologists, the poster boys of  B Boy science in the early eighties. They argued in public, on twitter, on the television, radio, web chats and phone in's. It'd started when West was named as a supporter of the campaign to ban loud music in shops that sell tartan and Banjo, when asked for a comment called the campaign retrogressive and parochial. They traded insults and arguments for weeks, each larger and more ridiculous than the previous,West claimed tartan was organic and took on the form of the environment it was subjected to, so loud music would shorten and weaken the fibres, Banjo countered by saying if anything rock music would strengthen the fabric and if West really thought loud music was dangerous then maybe he shouldn't have spent the summer in NYC in 1979....

Sporting a black eye and an arrangement of plasters suspiciously shaped like a swastika on his forehead William Norris stood before the assembled media in the travel lodge coffee garden, today was the day he'd draw a line under the recent scandals and turn his campaign around. This time next month he will be president.

Yesterday the galleries became our battlefields - self harming crowds at the expressionist print makers, sit ins at the fluxus installation and spontaneous stop the war demonstrations at the Paul Nash retrospective. Whilst I was visiting the Sol le Witt show and ended up with an urge to colour in a sheet of graph paper very neatly, my children, unfortunately, were seeing the new Chapman Brothers exhibition and consequently got arrested. Next time humanity is touched by artists I hope the Daily Mail serialize Fahrenheit 451 and we burn down their offices.

Right, good effort lads but we need to push it more second half. I know a point takes us back up to 4th but a win will see us second on goal difference, lets go for it, Gunts, I want you to get wider and bang it into Chambo's head as soon as you can. Wes, knock out the fancy stuff, just keep it simple, you all know your jobs by niw. You've probably noticed we're a man down right now, its nothing to worry about, just don't any of you get injured. Right , Who are we?  Go get em.

I stood and watched him pace up and down, he didn't look friendly at the best if times but today the grim reaper really lived up to his name. "And I say again, without me you wouldn't even have a job, its ridiculous I'm not even consulted" He waved his scythe in the face if the woman behind the desk but she was unfazed. " Rules are rules, pleasr take a seat and I will see if the director is out of his meeting, I'm sorry but that's all I can do ". I'd never seen death before but surprisingly I found myself feeling sorry for him. I leant toward him as he slumped backwards into the chair. " mint? " I offered.

In December 1977 I watched the wrestler Kendo Nagasaki unmasked in a solemn ceremony live on ITV, revealing for the first time a man called Geoge who wore red contact lenses. I'm remembering this as I'm writing up the report on todays incident. We were called to a makeshift camp in the middle of the Westfield shopping centre in Derby, just outside LUSH, where four men had set up an Afghan settlement and were busy cooking up a storm with tradional  mantu, aushak and even bullani which they were handing out to bemused shoppers. The food was delicious, everyone was good natured, they'd known they wouldn't be allowed to stay for long but felt it important to show the other side of Afghan culture to the UK public. The main guy was called George, like Kendo, he was from Burton upon Trent and the closest he'd been to Afghanistan was playing Call of Duty 2. I'm thinking it's important to become the person we think we can be and wonder if I am brave enough to t...