Postcards from Kronk - the second collection of daily stories. (2025)

The man that knocked on my door looked ashen. " sorry to bother you but did you know..." he seemed unsure how to finish his sentence instead stepped back to invite me to see for myself. " I wasn't sure if  you knew ? " I shook my head, worried now, half remembering something but just out of reach. The bodies covered my garden three of them were beaten too badly to identify but the fourth was clearly my Uncle Fletcher. His lazy eye no longer the most striking feature of his appearance. " It's just that you know, we don't set sail till next week, its a bit early for all this " he picked up a foot to emphasise his point, " I saw Egil in town with Fletchers coat on, he looked like he'd been turned inside out and washed with brine " I fetched my axe from the fire place where I'd been chopping wood last night and strode out into the street. " which coat ? "

Nannan's window sill was always cluttered so my view of the disaster was partly obscured. I do remember watching the girls face sink into the river of mince before disappearing behind a yellow Alsatian but after that Nannan pulled the curtains and gave me cornflakes on a plate. I never saw the other five cousins again.

The body was bloated up and looked 3 times heavier than before he'd entered the tank. Chad took measurements whilst Arno photographed the scene. He was a real little artist, crouching on one knee, lining up the curves of the body with the rust on the back wall. " shall we pack him up now ? " Arno squinted, eager to show his work but correctly judging now was not the time. Chad nodded and pocketed the tape measure. He felt old and tired, proving his theory seemed further way than ever.

As the official portrait of the Prime Minister released to the news agencies showed him wrestling a shaved baboon instead of the glamorous 6'2 blonde who usually accompanied him, the authorities knew the grease devils that wheeled the oils of civic society had fouled up again. Whether on purpose or another attempt to demonstrate how important they are it wasn't immediately clear but Dravid didn't care much either way. If they didn't answer the phone within three rings he was going to go nuclear on them in a way no amount of lubrication would help.

Charles and I were never close even before he had the surgery. Now just seeing him out back, tearing up the maple trees makes me less likely than ever to ask for my 4 way extension cable back.

Neither Daniel Rock nor Dougie Scissors had an alibi the night fire gutted the Paper Mill but the police knew instinctively neither were involved. It was no secret there was bad blood between the three of them but this was something else entirely. The following night, as the quarry was flooded it became clear, a whole new crew were looking to muscle in on the towns prosperity.

As I take my shower I find myself noticing parts of my body I haven't seen for a while. The dint in my right knee, the gap between my fourth and little toe on my left foot, was it always that wide ? a collection of freckles a inch or two above my appendix scar. I turn my face towards the spray and rinse the shampoo away, my left hand frees itself and finds the gills in the side of my neck. The damned stuffs in my eyes now. Outside its quiet, even above the sound of the water you can sense a damping in the air, like the whole base has been covered in muslin and set aside like dough to rise. I'm hot again before I finish toweling myself down. In the kitchen I fix myself a water and look out into the desert, if I ran straight out I reckon you'd be able to watch me for a full day before I finally disappeared.