Postcards from Kronk - the second collection of daily stories. (2025)

I wake to the sound of gunfire, I'm in an underground tube train, three figures are running past me, guns strafing left and right, the female casts a liquid hand into the air and then there are two of them, the guards turn their attention towards the doppelganger and off they disappear down a dark tunnel. I wave my hands in the air and then sit back down and fall asleep. I wake to the sound of gunfire and duck as all kinds of fleshy parts stream over us all, I'm pushing a trolley which I immediately let go, I can see I'm illuminated by head torches then it's too late. I wake to the sound of gunfire and immediately drop the crate I'm carrying. I can't see anyone yet apart from the scientists who run past me, I count them all, the visitors can't be very good shots. An explosion knocks me sideways where I land on a pig faced dog, he squeals and runs off into a cloud of dust. Their words appear in the sky, there must three of them, one is called DokTor BadaSS...

The clouds had been gathering for days but I had other things on my mind. "You gotta see this place, come on " I jumped, so eager to show her my discovery. " You dumbo " Alice laughed at my stumbling and waited until the bus came to a halt. The Hotel needed no introduction but I found myself throwing my arm to the sky as if I were unveiling it for the first time. " When did this open ? " She asked, but I could see her smile. She got it, she understood why I was excited. " Not sure," I grinned, " do you want to go in Mrs Ramone ? " I'd read that Paul McCartney used the name Ramone when he booked into hotels to keep his identify secret and it had turned into a private joke between the two of us.We linked arms and walked up to the entrance. The building I'd got so excited about looked like a miniature bavarian castle, from the road you could see groups of robed monks walking and tilling the land, picking fruit and fixi...

I was a fool for ever trusting a man in a shiny suit with matching socks, I wish I'd stayed well away. I certainly wish I'd been out fishing when God came around and gave out curiosity.  That way I wouldn't be here, making such a discovery. I didn't know I would find you when I shoveled the dirt away, it would have been better if the spade had cut you in two like a root. Where are the rest of you hiding? This is where you hide when people come in is it? like potatoes ?  This is no magic restaurant, the meals aren't made by pixies. It's you lot isn't it? I bet he isn't buying me a dolphin right now. This has been the worst day ever. I overhear this rant as I begin to tuck into my asparagus soup, whoever the woman is talking to doesn't reply. It crosses my mind that she may be practicing lines for a play. But if not, I hope they sort out their problems as this is the best asparagus soup I've ever tasted.

George wished the radio was louder, only two nights since his terror had arrived, the last on the road to be installed and he already hiding and sleeping downstairs. From above the cries continued, he heard them everytime Clarrie Grundy paused for breath. She and Eddie were discussing their troubled sons, George registered briefly that the cries in the background added a degree of pathos before remembering what was causing them. After a week he'll feel better, that was what the television said. Just has to hold his nerve, stiff upper lip and all that. As the morning light starts to creep through the blinds the cries subside. George turns the radio off and climbs into his makeshift bed, five more nights to go.

The battle was born like many others not from aggression but love. "Offer me not your eyes but entrust me your lips, if it so that I may die tonight then let me die a respected confidante and your love " All sound stopped as the two men faced each other, I caught sight of a plump young woman diving behind the photocopier, knocking the waste paper bin over with her ankles. The Giant Scot spun round and flailed wildly, arms like hams, fists like haggis. The first punch connected and carried through, taking with it teeth and fibre, ramming up against the soft tissue of the cheek. Whilst globs of blood hung in the air Alistair began struggle to his feet. It was like watching an upturned angle poise lamp creak back into shape. Junior ministers arrived and clapped, some threw paper which was promptly sucked into the thug vortex and spat out at high speed, the edges clearly frozen, breaking off as the cool air hit them. "A good day to bury bad memo's "someone calle...

"The fall of your country will not occur in one momentous event but rather through a series of small incremental stages. If you can read the signs then you will survive the change. As is written in many holy books, the apocalypse will be heralded by four riders, in the case of North Korea these will be Primark, Currys Digital, Top Shop and Footlocker. Once these appear you will know the end is nigh for each will rip a chasm in your society through which the future, in your case, the superior South will burst through. These angels, these visitors from the south, will float amongst you in golden boots and usher in the new Utopia. Watch the skies and be ready." Chong-Pil finishes reading, rolls up the paper and replaces it in silken recess within the silver egg.  Already a week has passed since it fell upon his head but as a simple farmer he feels ill equipped to deal with such knowledge. Tomorrow night, when his uncle arrives, he will bring him the egg and he will know what t...

Luca eventually surfaced in Ulvila, Finland after travelling for fourteen nights. Toivo Miettinen looked down transfixed as the young german removed his snorkel and crawled out the bowl. After Luca had showered the two shared a plate of smoked Zander and a couple of beers. He explained his world record attempt. " When will the people arrive" Toivo asked, " To confirm your achievement " Luca ignored the question and continued to wolf down the food, indicating with his hand for a second beer. " You did inform them you were attempting the record didn't you, are you being tracked, how will they verify your feat ? " These questions went unanswered, Luca stood and bowed and thanked his host. " Shall I take your photo for when the people come, to show them you were here ? " Toivo asked as he placed the plates in the sink. " OK, that would be good " Luca left shortly afterwards, Toivo still has the picture, it sits on his desk, the ...