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October 29 McGuinness 'under shadow of past'

My nephew Michael is seven today, he's opened his presents and been left with me to play marbles, his birthday present from an uncle we never see. I know he'd rather play with his Nintendo but he's been told to play with me first. I used to have the best collection of marbles in our primary school. The marble man used to appear every few weeks, he'd be on the other side of the fence and always had a handful of marbles for my sister and me. I must have been 10 ish which means Cath would have been 7. Our garden backed onto the Depot, an army base and if you went on the top of our shed it was possible to jump over to the fence, usually to retrieve a ball but sometimes just for the thrill of it. These were before soldiers carried guns as they patrolled the area. Mum and dad knew about the marble man and would smile as we shared our new marbles, steel ball bearings, tiger eyes, some pearlescent ones occasionally, deep blue. Never did we think he was anythin...

October 28 Planner warned for airing views

We stared open mouthed at the creatures emerging form the Mayor's mouth. Carol nudged me in the ribs and whispered rather too loudly, " I told you this would happen if we cut corners " I stifled a laugh as henchman Baz leaned forwards, his hand on the ceremonial machete.  "And we will have a swimming pool here, here and here " Susan stepped in and ushered us away to the ante room, " and if you follow me ladies and gentlemen I will show you our plans for the water treatment plant". I smiled meakly at Carol who replied with a neck slitting action, a slight at my earlier cowardice I assumed. As we left I took one last look at the Mayor who raised his hand to say goodbye, his cheeks bulging.

October 27 Europe 'closer to solving crisis'

Today is March 13th 2023, I am in Frankfurt and I care. After the Munich Treaty failed to get ratified, questions began to be asked. Few took notice then as the wave of apathy that had crippled Asia began to take took hold of mainland Europe. No one understands how it happened, a kind of group hypnosis or paranoia perhaps, possibly air borne or a contaminated food chain. The speed of it's progress across the globe the real problem, in 20 days a third of the planet had succumbed to the apathetic virus. As soon as people realised what was happening it was too late, they didn't care, c'est la vie.  As the contagion spread westwards and southwards the Americans and Africans put in place as many emergency procedures as they could but the outbreak was gathering speed and within the month the whole of the Earth had given up caring. Obviously, when I say the whole of the Earth, I am lying, if I didn't care I wouldn't be recording this now. There are poc...

October 26 Murray defence begins arguments

I had to shout to make myself heard above the music. "And I am saying Murray couldn't have borrowed your jacket because he was in Newark skinning my dog to make a djembe skin" From the opposite side of the rink Janice floored her dodgem and headed straight for me, ignoring the signs telling drivers to drive in a clockwise direction only. I'd hit a nerve there and  I knew it, he'd never made any instruments when they'd been together. " Bring it on Janice" 

October 25 Woman to be sentenced for murder

The shopkeeper refused to sell me the pair of trainers I wanted, Puma high tops torquoise and black, she said I was too old and would rather lose a sale than send me out looking like a clown. I didn't take it very well, no I went back and I did something I now regret.

October 24 Chandlers criticise rescue effort

Emerging from the lift shaft Mr and Mrs Chandler appeared to have blacked up and resembled cartoon minstrels strolling in from dixie. "That's typical isn't it", Mr Chandler scowls, "you only rescue us when we go black " The gathered liberal firemen bow their heads in shame.

October 23 Independence drive 'starts today'

I watch until my Peugeot 307 becomes a dot on the horizon rubbing the side of my head where Louise first indicated her surprise at my news. As I walked I remember the unexpected swiftness of her fists, if she is at home when I get there I'm going to be very quiet.