Postcards from Kronk - the second collection of daily stories. (2025)

It's all very well to have a gorgeous wife and a bounding dog with fluffy ears but if you live round here the stench of despair smacks you full in the chops as soon as you leave your front door. I read this in her diary.

Finally, I'm about to get some action, Big Sam motions to me to put on my hat. That's what I think anyway, we have a very complicated signalling system and it's often difficult to remember all the combinations in the heat of a game. I'm a basketball player and a damn good one. The ref blows once and I jump up and take my place on the court, knocking knuckles with Lou, mutual respect for a fellow oldie. The opposing team know me, their fans know me and I am greeted by a chorus of abuse. I raise my hands to the air, hot rocks in my palm. The game has become like a pantomime but I play my part, I act immortal, like Kung Fu. The whistle blows again, Sam shouts out something, the ball comes towards me, the horns on my hat mark me out as a special player, I jump, and catch the ball. Cheers! Spinning like Robin Cousins I flex and shoot. The ball is stuck to my hand, the Spalding rips and tears a little. Big Sam is talking to the robot duck. My hat falls over my eyes. S...

They had only been in the house for two weeks but already the old patterns were re-establishing themselves. Jude choose to ignore the curse emanating from the cabinet, she didn't know her daughter's exotically named boyfriend had stood in the cat litter tray, (another of her little secrets) but understood Hannah was as far away as she'd ever been.

He said Next time you casually drop a crisp on way from bag to mouth and think, oh well, a bird will eat it I hope you think again. For the discarded potato product that seems so light and delicious to you is but another another rock of pure krypton to the microscopic families going about their daily business underfoot. A Valhalla for those hard working miniature creatures that scurry in the grooves of our concrete paving. Once we were only that big in the grand scheme of things and someone dropped an asteriod that killed our dinosaur forefathers, the universe is infinite but hideous cruel, anything we can do to minimise the scars we make on this planet is a step in the right direction. One day these weird tiny things may grow up to be our overlords and we don't want them angry. Then I heard him say Hmmm, good point, And the last thing I heard was Maybe we should destroy them while we have the chance, pass me the Cheese and Onion. And when I turned the corner, there wa...

The man described them stepping onto the runway into the gathered throng like oversized rock star in fur coats. Ang , who'd identifed himself as the pilot addressed the worlds media. " Thank you Humans of 2012, on behalf of the Interstellar Panda Federation I bring you grave news" I listen transfixed to the radio the keeper ironically tied to the tree in our enclosure and nod to Frank and Benji; our time has come.

The house was empty, she was too late. Whoever had been writing the essays was gone and Columbia was no closer to understanding why. For the past two months teachers had been reporting unsolicited coursework amongst their regular marking. She had been asked to look into the matter, to flush out the culprit, a personal favour to the Dean. The names on the papers had all been from ex pupils, ones that would be in their eighties today were they still alive. Columbia and her team had worked long into nights, following multiple lines of enquiry until by tracing email accounts they'd been led to this house, in a suburb of Kasugai; they'd done a methodical job, they'd followed the bread crumbs so confidently. Columbia drew on a cigarette and closed the door behind her, there would be no answers here.

As Paul entered the final digit and heard the siren kick in he slunk to the floor. The fourth time in six weeks he'd made the same mistake, the unit would begin to shut down now.  In the dark, waiting for maintenance to arrive he tries to work up a suitable explanation emphasising his bad luck over carelessness. Nothing too convoluted, keep your lies simple, that's what his Granddad had always told him. It's time to get another job, he thinks, one lacking two similarly named key mechanical devices.  A knock on the door, he lets the man in and begins. " How in heck do you think a racoon got into the facility ? " His next job had also better be one that isn't too fussy over references.