January 26 Warning follows stream pollution

Doctor William Hough, his face clearly happier today than in previous press briefings confirmed the cyclist who climbed out of the contaminated stream last week, still as yet unnamed, can now play the violin and cross his legs. More than one of the gathered press were seen to be wiping tears from their eyes as Hough went on to explain that the man had also recognised more than 30 common garden birds by their silhouette alone.

Now is not the time to be counting our chickens and the control orders will remain until all the victims have been successfully treated.