January 27 Parasites linked to cockle deaths
There's nothing left we haven't tried to shoot, eat, wear or tame, all the dogs have rabies and the cockles have drowned in so special brine. It's been coming a long time: the birds have begun to fall from the skies, the bees are disappearing, bountiful Mother Nature has called time on the wasteful parasites we call humanity.
But on a positive note I've got a red bicycle.
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