July 3 Warning over rubbish fire threat

The Scottish separatist stood before Jim Kerr, head bowed. The bloated simple minds front man floated forwards, his head at an ungodly and particularly Scottish angle, Celtic fury in his eyes.
Behind him Charlie the other one lit the remaining matches one by one and threw them at his neck.
one - the prime minister wasn't there
As each match hit Charlie the other one counted out the ways the terrorist plan was doomed to fail.
two - the voting hasn't started
three - the firewood was damp
four - you're no Guy Fawkes
five - we said no
six - we said no way, no way, no way

It lasted only for twenty minutes or so and then they were gone and the deflated freedom fighter was left to lick his wounds.