January 17 Cesspit users urged to sign up to online portal

 I do my business and marvel at the miracle before me.

Meanwhile on the other side of the world, Mayor Vinnie Carmicheal is part way through handing over substantial hush money to his ex-mistress on the Mundang Beach as she’s suddenly engulfed by a torrent of decomposing sewage, human waste, and noxious gasses, coming from somewhere up above their heads. Instinctively he tries to grab the bundle of money back before she completely disappears, her acrylic nails about all he can make out by now, but the force of the fecal sludge bomb almost breaks his wrist: that’s the kind of man he is.

It will only be a matter of minutes before the news begins to break, initially locally, but pretty quickly as the isolated incidents become linked, signs of an apocalypse will be on every global news channel.

Someone will have to stand and say ‘we will learn the lessons’.

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