January 18 Football patrols as police target car cannibals

 Nothing is what it once was, but things are settling we are told, day by day most changes are less extraordinary, and people can adapt to them, most new misalignment appears less concerning than the one before. Apart from the rogue cases, which thankfully, according to the authorities, are becoming less frequent.  

Hibernation had been seen as mankind’s last chance, a way to reverse climate change, fix the food and power crisis; and hopefully, address the mental health crisis crippling those but the very wealthy and confused. During the first trials there had been reports of people waking with strange tastes, even a rumoured case in Switzerland where a whole town had woken up convinced they’d all been turned into vampires whilst they’d slept. But changes to the medication had been made, and the risks were lower each day.

 But still some people experienced stranger reactions, often in clusters, amongst people who worked together, or had similar hobbies. Scientists on TV explained why this could be, we didn’t trust them, but it didn’t matter, we had nothing else and this was the price we all had to pay.

I am now one of those rogue cases, but we are assured those that wake differently, like me, are looked after and treated. As I gnaw on this Vauxhall Vectra gearstick, that I know my body cannot digest, I pray this is the truth, I truly hope they will come and save me, grant me a replay, and no penalty.