January 30 A year to see impact of caretakers plan – council

 As you will all no doubt remember, after the discovery of the scooby shroud and associated magical relics, this council assembled the greatest collection of mediums, archaeologists and code breakers the North has ever seen to unlock its secrets, which, as we all know, was much more troubling than we’d anticipated for.

As reported to this office, the very real risk to life and all that we hold precious, from those hiding amongst us, those so-called masked terrors, particularly in schools and fun fairs is potentially catastrophic.

 So today I delighted to announce the commencement of the initial monitoring, interviewing and demasking of over a thousand suspects and if, at the end of this exhaustive process, we find no hiding demons, or other worrying evidence then and only then we will assume whatever terrorised our ancestors is now gone.

Or that we read it wrong.

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