February 19 Major incident declared over large sinkhole

 I’ve booked but I’m not bothered about seeing the film I just had to get out of the house before I fucking killed my neighbour. She’s got a sinkhole in her garden.

Well I’m sure you’ll enjoy the film, it’s very cool in there, everyone tends to get a bit fractious in this heat, don’t they?

Not my neighbour she’s a fucking witch.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

January 1 The ex-club doorman offering security to the stars

  “From tonight, you will be able to gaze upwards and see nothing save a cloud or two, and the distant twinkling light of something long gone, this will be the single most important act of the revolution to date: no messages, no adverts, no reminders, no instructions. I ask you not to be afraid, let us embrace how tiny we are. This is not retreating as the technologists claim rather a reclamation of our freedom to exist and dream, worry and imagine.” These words were found on a piece of paper, actually written down , as the man was fatally shot entering level four with a massive spanner.  Tests showed he had been drinking, add it to the next bulletin.
Read more

December 12 Scientists make new Mekong finds

Sitting in the waiting room at St Pancras station drinking tea too hot to hold comfortably I stared at silent footage of pop stars and politicians on the TV screen helpfully erected for us in the corner of the coffee shop. Something caught my eye, a rolling headline ending with ' make new Mekong finds' and for the briefest of micro seconds I confuse Mekong with the Mekon and understand with great clarity and calmness we are now in  Dan Dares world. A place where alien overlords plot, robot armies are controlled by a talking cat and fight smugglers and I can't trust anyone as they may be a doppelganger grown from a pod. I felt myself smiling, no, I felt myself grinning. I've never stopped grinning and also never got back on that train.
Read more