Postcards from Kronk - the second collection of daily stories. (2025)

There was the way he leant to the right when using a microscope or the habit he had of spelling words out with his fingers when anxious. The way I'd felt him watch me that night; by the time I'd made the short distance from the taxi to the porch I must have looked like Alice Cooper and that was the last time he saw me, as I waved him off. Maybe he couldn't see much through the foggy windscreen by then. So maybe that was what caused the accident, not the rain. He always had a knack of knowing when I was uncomfortable and popping up with coffee or a hand on my shoulder, or no hand on my shoulder, whatever was needed. He clicked his fingers when he listened to the radio, like James Dean. I hope it was the rain.

This is what I'll do when I'm king. Firstly all financial institutions will have to hoist a jolly roger from the top of their buildings, old people will have the right to sit on any child that insists on playing music through their mobile and then I'll bring back National Service - In Space. And that's just for starters, if The Atomic Energy Agency hasn't released enough gamma rays on the Californian coast to cause people to become superhuman within a reasonable time, say six months, then they'll get closed down. This is not a threat, this is a prophecy Vote for Me.

Softer than air We stand together, our feet in the lapping waves people look the other way

When the deputy whom the concrete slab fell on came round, he found to his surprise that he'd suffered a series of minor strokes, the least serious of which caused him to end every sentence with the word 'past'. This story was told to me by a man in glasses too large for his face and to whom I had to buy four pints as payment for this entertainment. Jimmy Carr you have been warned. 

In the last seconds of Joe Kirbys life, as he pulled the trigger only to produce a bunch of silk flower his mind flashed to Curly Chris, the lieutenant famous for his sense of quirky sense of humour.

He forgot most of the story and what he remembered the police ripped to shreds but Connor hoped he'd bought his sister enough time to rescue the troglodyte people and lead them back once more to the surface, the money they'd managed to squirrel away had easily paid for the new burrowing device. Now, to convince Nicholas Cage to play him in the film.

Now I can buy meals for one, now I can watch the ice truckers. The rings on the sideboard are all I have left of our time together and if that wasn't veneer I'd sand it. This is what you mean, or meant, you'll never hear from me again. I send the email and spend the next two hours refreshing my Inbox.