February 5 Landfill plans 'horrible for town' - residents

 Back in the first few months after the stars had begun to fall from the sky, as the initial panic and apocalyptic doom mongering had started to subside, life had to go on, and aside from a darkening nighttime sky, the scientists had reassured everyone things would be ok. It remains a fact however, that faced with the actual possibility of the end of the world, the usual apocalyptic cultists were few on the ground,

As you remember summoning the spirit of the blitz and the notion of a stiff upper lip people up and down the country focussed on the parts that could be fixed, leaving those in power to find solutions to our imminent cataclysmic ending.

The crater at the end of Curzon Street had been one of the things that could be fixed locally and the local council worked long into the night to find suitable solutions that they would consult on. It was vital in times like these that people felt part of the solution, someone had said. Unfortunately the man in charge sharing this information with the towns folk was one of those who felt the end was indeed nigh and instead of the agreed options he drank a bottle of Saki and wrote his own.

If these are to be the end of days, then we might as well have a bit of fun beforehand, the email began, and then below, there were four options.

1.      Bear Baiting pit

2.       Public Execution Square

3.      Dogging Circle

4.      Mass Grave.

 

Underneath in crayon he’d added a menacing poem.

                                                Marky Mark went to Market.

                                                Woody walked out in disgust.

                                           Mick Kittle Wiggy had the worst seat.

                                               His middle daughter felt numb.

                           But Phil Riddle went wee wee wee wee wee all the way home.

Of those who voted before the poll was scrapped, every single one of them made the same choice, which is the reason the house prices in that area have never recovered.